Sexist Advertising

   While watching television tonight, I couldn't help but notice a lot of dieting advertisements-probably due to this being the summer/bathing suit season.  Most notably was Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I'm sure that these are helpful organizations that have helped countless men and women reach and maintain their healthy weight or whatever- but their advertising is a little passive aggressive.

     They use subtle hints to brainwash you into buying into their Snake Oil programs like I'm finally happy. or I was so lonely when I was fat.  Now I have a man!  That's not really a ver-batum  quote or anything- but you catch my drift.  I didn't like the insinuation that you have to be skinny to be happy.  I'm curvy and I'm happy.  I know skinny, sad people who would love to take a bite out of my cheeseburger (And no, that isn't an innuendo, but it is funny).  Even pretty people are sad and depressed.

      Commercials and advertisements are targeted to certain types of groups.  You can tell by the actors in their infomercial, who the makers or products expect to buy their stuff.  Sometimes it's a practical approach, you wouldn't see men in a Kotex commercial raving about how wonderful their tampons are. 

       In the spirit of this post, I have a fantastical idea for a Divorce Attorney commercial.
                               "Thanks to Jessicca Collins, attorney at law, I lost 200 pounds in one month and I've never been happier!" Says a grinning woman holding a picture of her irritating, useless husband.
    
                              OR...
                        
                             Visa versa with a relieved husband holding a picture of his nagging wife.
                It's brilliant!  I really wish I was a divorce attorney now.

:.Now Pay Me $2500.  You're welcome!.:

       

Goals

     We all need to aspire to something.  It's healthy to strive toward greater heights- as long as you don't place unreasonable expectations on yourself.  For example, I will never be a painter and have my artwork displayed in posh museums and all that.  But, I feel that becoming a popular romance writer is within reason.

     While I was editing my first novel, City of Sin, Connor asked me what I was doing and why I was doing it.  I told him I wanted to send my book in for publication *keeping my fingers eternally crossed* because I wanted to better our lives and be famous.  No problem with killing two birds with one stone, right?

    He asked me what I would do if they bought my book and I thought for a minute.  I recalled a day, a couple of months ago, when we were watching television and a promotional travel commercial for Australia came on.  Connor said he wanted to go see the 'Kang-roos' and the Great Whites.  So, now I've decided that if I land a big, reliable contract, Connor and I will board a plane for Australia where we will visit Steve Irwin's zoo and hopefully not get eaten by ravenous, Great White Sharks.  Australia is a pretty dangerous place!

:. Connor & I Will See This One Day! .:

Shameless Self-Promotion

As a part of my promotional obligations, I have created a Facebook Author & Promotional page for me.  Once I have my promotional material/ cover art for my Short Story, I'll post all of it there since my personal Facebook page is set to Super-Duper Private. 

Thank you guys so much for supporting me.  And thank you in advance for buying lots of my writings and leaving me rave reviews and suggesting my page to all of your friends, family, co-workers, frienemies, etc.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessicca-Collins/473531065991291

:. I'm always working hard- or is it hardly working? .:

Kindred Spirits

      I've always felt a kindred spirit to Lions.  I hate cats- they're the Devil reincarnate.  But I've always been drawn to Lions.  They're predators and downright scary-looking.  Not something you want to trifle with.

    They have intelligent, accessing eyes and regal dispositions.  I admire both qualities.  Also, I want to make people jump and quiver in terror when they hear me ROAR.  I'm not sure what that says about my psyche.  What do you think?

    What's your kindred animal spirit?  Come on people, don't be shy!

Big News

     I have some Big News (obviously) to share with my adoring public.  Yours truly has been contracted through Secret Cravings Publishing for my short story Bi-Curious.  Projected release is September 2012!

    I'll share more developments as they become available to me.  Love you all and I expect you to buy copies of my work and lots more for friends and family! 

:.Par-tay!.:

Home Remedies

      I am such a puss when it comes to pain.  I had a friend in college who played volleyball.  Inevitably, she would break a finger or two. She could set her fingers back in place and splint them on her own.  No pain medicine.  No doctors.  I can stub my pinkie toe and cry for days.

     I've had the beginnings of a sinus infection/ tooth ache since yesterday.  How can something as tiny as a tooth bring  you to the brink of insanity with pain?  I've considered bashing my own skull in to get some relief.  Luckily, I have some old home remedies to aid my journey for pain relief.

     You can gargle salt water for a sore throat or to draw infection out of a wound or an infected tooth.  OR you go and get some good, low quality, high-proofed, rock gut whiskey---and you drink the WHOLE bottle!  After that, you forget you have a face!  So, hope this helps!

:. It's the Party-Sized Bottle.  Party of One!.:

 

   

Magic Mike Receives My HOT Rating!

             My friend Liz and I went to watch Magic Mike tonight.  I knew I was going to see half-naked men dance around, but I was unprepared for the carnal pleasure of watching really hot men dance!  Oh my goodness!  It must have been 110 degrees in that theatre!

           I've decided that men get an unfair wrap.  Yes, they're bad for oogling women and commenting on how hot they are, their perky body parts, and even issuing the occasional cat call.  But, the women in the theatre with me were A LOT worse.  I think that if a halfway decent-looking man would have stumbled into the cinema with his shirt off, we would have mauled him.  The poor cinema custodians will be scrubbing the estrogen off the walls for months!

          Women act like men are animals when they comment on other women, and I guess it is an animal instinct to strut around and splay your feathers for you prospective mate.  At least they're honest, I guess.  Women tend to be more reserved when it comes to commenting on men's assets.  Speaking of assets...Matthew Mcconaughey- WOW!

:. 0_0 .:

         The men and the muscles and the prancing- oh, boy!  We had heard that the movie's story line wasn't very good and the acting was terrible.  Consensus says --"There was a story line?"  What do you expect when you go and see a movie about male strippers?  You're going for the hot man candy!  I would have been happy to watch them dance around for an hour and a half!

         Inevitably, there were a few guys watching the movie as well.  They didn't look happy to be there, and most of them made it obvious that their wife/girlfriend/ significant other forced them to go.  Poor things.  I spotted some slinking into their seats well after the lights had dimmed.  Probably to avoid any awkward "Are you gay?" comments at work tomorrow.

        I'm definitely putting Magic Mike on my DVD Wish List!  Yum!

:. :D .: