I've been a little sad a lot lately. I'm not sure if it's just seasonal or what, but I just can't shake it. I'm out of my groove with little interest in writing and it absolutely sucks. I have lots of unfinished projects on my desk and I just kind of look at them and sigh. I seriously need to whip myself back into shape and get to it.
Christmas sort of brings out the worst in me. Well, not really the worst- but the depressing part of me. I try not to think about money that much, but with all the extra things I need to buy and presents that need to be wrapped- it's constantly on my mind. Now, I'm not impoverished- my family and I have everything we need-, but want is another subject matter entirely. And that Santa Man is getting on my nerves. I mean, I work my ass off to afford nice things for my kids and that butthole comes in and takes ALL the credit. See what I mean? Christmas has turned me into a spiteful Elf.
This morning wasn't much easier. I took Connor to school and dropped him at the door so he could eat breakfast while I parked...and he told me he didn't need me to come in! He doesn't NEED his mother?! Well that really depressed the hell outta me! Sure, I want him to be responsible and he's going to grow up at some point...but...but... *Sad face*
Is anyone else suffering the Christmas Blues?
welcome back to blogger land!
ReplyDeletelet's re-frame your morning with Connor... you have raised your son to be confident and now he's using that confidence to do things on his own. you gave him that gift and now every time he needs you just a little bit less for something, know that it is because of what you taught him. But also know that he will never not need his mom for something.
Aww, Jessicca, when I first saw your title it reminded me of a Marroon 5 song, called Sad. I know, it's awful when our kids grow up and need us less and less. And I think a lot of us get kind of down b/c of the weather this time of yer. Just remember you have people around you who are right there with you. I know I've emailed you several times when I was having a freak-out moment. You can do the same with me. Hope things get better for ya. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Paloma and Jennifer. I don't know what's up with my wonky emotions and mood swings. I just can't seem to get motivated past the everyday living I guess. I feel like I'm so bogged down with emotional garbage that I can't move forward, and regrettably some days I just kind of wallow in it. I truly appreciate having people like you in my life!
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