Wednesday, May 23, 2012

How I Use Facebook

       Facebook is the best thing ever invented, if you're a nosey person like me.  Who needs a Private Detective?  With a quick search, I can find out all sorts of stuff about you.  A lot of people have their profiles public (makes things easier for me), they claim it's because they have nothing to hide, I must disagree.  We all have something to hide.  Personally, I have my profile set to  super-duper private because I know that there are other people just like me trolling the Internets- and that's just scary.
      I also have what I like to call my Fakebook.  It's a made-up account with some random photos in the profile that kind of look like they have the same person in it.  I use this for people I hate with a burning intensity of a thousand Hells, but want to keep an eye on for whatever reason.  Keep your friends close and spoon with your enemies, right?  No...however that goes. I'm totally one of those people who will delete you, block you, report you as a cyber stalker, then use my friend's Facebook to see if you're talking about me.  That's not creepy, that's Ninja Spy School 101 stuff.

      I also use Facebook to promote myself and others.  I promote my blog, of course, and I promote whatever projects my friends are doing.  Sure, no one promotes me back, but I try to not be too bitter about it.  But I would like to take a moment to remind my fans of the Law of Reciprocity.  All of your social interactions are a game.  For example,  gift-giving.  If someone buys you a baby shower gift, they expect one in return when they invite you to their third cousin's baby party.  You give things with the expectations of having it returned (usually the gift should have the same or an exceeding value of whatever I gave you, thanks).  So, say that I share my brother's blogs and then he doesn't share mine- I in turn share my flu virus with him. 

       Facebook is also really good for bragging.  You take pictures of your fancy, expensive toys so all of your high school buddies see how much money you have.  Or, you list your Gross Income(and then add a few hundred million just to make sure people see how awesome I am).  You list all of your awesome jobs and projects and secretly smile when someone adds you and they're living in their grandmother's basement.  I have several people on my friends list who completely ignored me in school or we made each other completely miserable.  We don't speak to one another, but one of us decided that we should be online Facefriends.  Because now we're suddenly cool with whatever pissed us off in the first place.

        So now I don't even have to talk to any real people anymore.  If something happens in my life, good or bad, I just post it as a status update and expect friends and family to share it for me.  It's fan-freaking-tastic!  Also, reading News Feeds keeps me entertained for hours.  I mean, I never get anything done because I'm constantly sharing, posting, replying, playing Words With Friends, stalking people- I have a full social calendar obviously.  Oops, gotta go- someone just played a 30 point word!
:.My Son's A Pilot!.:

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