Saturday, June 2, 2012

When to Cut Back on Web Habits?

    My name is Jessicca and I am addicted to the Internet.  Okay, now that we got our Webaholics Anonymous meeting out of the way, we can move on.  And what's so anonymous about saying your name...and showing up in person to those meetings anyway? 
     I think everyone can relate to having an inappropriate relationship with the Internets.  I see my computer more often than I see my husband, I'm not really complaining, that's just the way it is.  I would say that I see my computer more than I see my kids, but I have their pictures plastered everywhere, I'm always talking about them, and they're always hanging off of me, even when I'm trying to write stuff. 

    So, I've compiled a helpful guide for those of you who may be on the fence wondering if you're a fellow Webaholic:
     * You haven't left the house in weeks.         
     * You haven't picked up an actual book in weeks.
     * You have no IRL Friends.
     * You know what IRL means.    
     *If you do talk to someone via not the Internet, you constantly annoy  them with tales of your Online Friends.
     * You make a date to IM your friends, family, significant other.
     * You suffer from severe carpel tunnel and your fingers are permanently poised over an imaginary keyboard.
     * You develop severe withdrawal symptoms during a power outage and curl up in the corner in a fetal position with your wireless mouse. 
     * You no longer answer or return phone calls, but immediately reply to messages and e-mails.
     *  You check Facebook no less than fifty times a day to see who 'like's your new status, picture, comment, whatever.
     * You no longer feel the need to tell anyone anything in person and take it for granted that they've already read about it on your social networking page.
     * The only news you're familiar with is what's in your News Feed.
     * You watch television while also typing on your laptop.
     * The only number you dial on your phone is Tech support.
     * You shy away from web-cams because it's too reminiscent of an actual conversation.
     * You can't sleep at night because you're too worried about all of the neat-o stuff you're missing on your computer. 
     * You watch gross videos on YouTube of people popping gigantic blackheads for entertainment, then continue to complain about how demented and weird those people are for making these yucky videos in the first place...but you can't look away no matter how hard you try.  So gross, must look away!
      * You troll Topix for juicy gossip, and take their word for absolute Gospel. 

Feel free to add your own suggestions here!  I've gotta go Troll the 'Net for more cool stuff!                                                    

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